Welcome

I’m Dave Yaffey, an Internal Family Systems trained, senior accredited psychotherapist. I work with everyone and I specialise in working with neurodivergent adults, those late diagnosed or who suspect they may be neuro-different.

I’m based in Llanidloes, Powys and work both in person and online via zoom. I regard myself as an integral therapist, looking through lenses I have collected over many years. I practice Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, informed by psychodynamic theory, poly-vagal theory, neuroscience and various models of the mind.

What I offer is a mixture of therapy and coaching, with some psycho-education and skill development thrown in, all helping you to lead a more Self-led life.

Truly unique

You might be undiagnosed, late diagnosed or self-identifying, or just curious about how you are in the world. If you have recently discovered that you’re autistic, or think that you might be, there is a path opening up ahead of you. I’m an IFS trained and NCPS senior accredited psychotherapist and I support clients on this journey.

I am constantly surprised at how differently autism shows up in people… and how many of us there are in the world!
It seems we are truly unique but not alone.

There are no ‘disorders’ here and nothing needs fixing, but you might need help to feel a bit better in a world that isn’t designed for you. I’ve supported clients as they walked the formal diagnosis path or explored their unique differences on the way to self-identifying. My goal is to help you to see the gifts in the difference and to stay in contact with what truly nourishes you.

If needed, I can help you with what we call ‘complex trauma’ – the impact in later life of relational stresses suffered in earlier life. In the two big areas of life, work and relationships, I will help you find better ways of relating to yourself and others so you feel less anxious, are less vulnerable to burnout and can deepen into Self-care.

I have supported clients going through all of the following:

About me

Supporting neurokin

After noticing how many neurodiverse clients were showing up, and recognising myself in lots of what I was reading about autism, I decided to specialise in supporting my ‘neurokin’. I self-identify as autistic and I work, mostly, with clients who suspect they may be on the spectrum or have had an autism or ADHD diagnosis. I don’t work with folks who have high support needs, rather those who get by in life or mask really well, perhaps identifying as what used to be the Asperger category of Autism.

I believe that, if you are, or suspect you might be, neurodivergent and you’re looking for therapy, then you need to find a neurodivergent therapist. If there isn’t a fundamental fit between you and the therapist, then you won’t feel met and understood. This will only perpetuate the feelings of being missed, feeling odd or different enough to be ‘othered’. Finding our Self under the mask is one part of the journey for ND folks, but we can also benefit from a collective redefining of difference. I will help you advocate for yourself… appreciate what you’re good at and help you get your needs met.

I have two aims in my work: to promote healing when healing is needed, and to help you build a ‘Self-friendly’ life. This friendlier life is about the ‘container’ we live in… the people we hang out with, the work we do, how we care for ourselves and all the energetic vibes we take in from the world around us. We need to do inner work, yes, to take responsibility for how we are in the world, but we often need to tweak the outer world a bit too, so that we have more chance of thriving rather than just surviving. Having more of what nourishes us in our lives is the result of getting this balance right.

As a neurodifferent person myself, I believe my lived experience together with my professional training can help others feel properly understood as they work through the challenges on their discovery journey. If you are starting on the work of understanding your uniqueness, your gifts and challenges, your neuro-mixed relationships, or if you’re exhausted from years of masking, then pop me an e-mail.

My training

• Internal Family Systems, Level 1
• MA Mindfulness Based Core Process Psychotherapy
• Advanced Certificate in Relationship Therapy
• MPhil. Psychology and Philosophy
• NLP Master Practitioner and Certified Trainer
• Rewind Practitioner

… and a host of short trainings on themes including disordered eating, safeguarding, personality disorders, psychedelic integration and online counselling.

My style

The therapy work I do is about going inside to find the Self, to befriend our various parts and to set down the burdens that we’ve been carrying. The counselling work I do looks a little different from session to session… it might be facilitating a belief change to support a new life choice, exploring how neuro-differences show up in a relationship, nudging you towards accepting what’s real or holding your emotions while you process a piece of your history. This work is rarely a straight-line journey and I will work with what needs attention, using what works to make progress. I enjoy finding connection and humour, the existential kind, in our shared human experience.

We all have parts

From very early on we learn a set of strategies that help us meet our needs, avoid distress and cope with the world. In IFS, we ascribe these strategies to ‘parts.’ All of us have parts and behaving from these parts is what we all do most of the time. Underneath all of our parts however, is something more original, unconditioned and healthy. This is our Self, also called our true self, or core, or soul.

IFS therapy brings more of our Self into play and soothes the relationship between our parts. Typically, IFS leads to discovering how you act out the strategies of your parts and what the underlying intentions are. This is hugely empowering. Appreciating the protective role our parts have played and inviting them to rest allows you to reconnect with your Self and live more authentically. It also releases us from the energetic cost of working so hard to be something we’re not.

FAQs

Is it safe?

I provide a safe and quiet space where you can explore who you have been and who you are becoming. I’m OK to dim the lighting in the room, have you switch off your camera if we’re working online, and to be flexible with session length, all to support your comfort. Therapy is a collaborative process and I will walk alongside you, at your pace. I’m a senior accredited member of the NCPS and adhere to their code of ethics. I am in regular supervision with a registered supervisor who also identifies as neurodivergent.

Is it confidential?

Everything that happens in the therapy session is confidential. Nothing would be shared with a third party without your permission. My code of ethics require me to breach confidentiality however, if I believe you are at risk of harming yourself or others, or if harm has been done to children. My supervisor is bound by the same ethical codes on confidentiality. I have Professional Liability Insurance and I’m GDPR compliant – this means your personal information is confidential and treated securely as such at all times.

How long does it take?

Psychotherapy is usually a weekly practice where you have your allotted hour at the same time every week. This provides a structure and routine that is useful for the work. Sessions are the full 60 minutes. If you prefer longer sessions or prefer fortnightly appointments, then let’s make this happen.

Coaching can be short, six to ten weeks, if there is a particular issue that you want to look at. Or, if you want a deeper understanding of your unique patterns of thinking, feeling and behaviour, maybe addressing old strategies that no longer serve you, then the process will be longer. Therapy is a journey to reconnecting with your best Self, a journey with many ‘interesting’ twists and turns.

How much?

My fee is £55 for a 1hr session… after the first one, which is free.

What next?

If you’re ready you’ll know. I’ll start by listening… to what’s current right now, what you hope for and to how life has been so far. We can consider whether a short series of sessions or ongoing therapy would be better for you. If you just sense that you need help but don’t know where to start, I’m happy to take the lead so that we can get rolling. I can offer some ideas, ways of seeing and some new vocabulary into the mix, always to support the emerging conversation.

My first session is free, so pop me an e-mail.

I look forward to meeting you.

Email: dave@daveyaffeytherapy.co.uk